I didn't go to the gym at all last week and I thought i just needed time to be comfortable in my house. Get it clean and organized, to feel secure.
Today is Monday, and All I'm doing is watching movies and going through all the kids clothes. Sorting, stacking, organizing things to give away. Its definitely an undertaking, and I'm feeling happy to be home. But I'm just noticing I'm leaving the house less and less. I'm not paranoid to leave and I have plans every other day this week. Is it even bad that I'm sticking around the house? Maybe I normally leave too much and this is how it should be. Mike and I did the grocery shopping yesterday so I don't have to go to the store like I normally do every day. I guess it's ok
I haven't had a shower since Saturday afternoon. I still have my makeup on from the Masquerade Ball. I keep putting it off. I have to do this first, then that, then something else. I guess that's pretty gross but I don't stink...
We're going to ID for Thanksgiving. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm excited to go of course, I LOVE my in-laws. But I see how my life is playing out right now and I LIKE it so it's taking me WAY out of my comfort zone. I guess by then it will be a good time to stop this foolish isolation and get back to it. I know I can tell my MIL anything and I'm usually very comfortable. But every time we get on the phone lately I hear this fake cheerful voice coming out of my mouth. I try to be genuine and let her know I'm feeling off, but in the same breath say I'm OK and Happy. I mean I am!... it's just so confusing and I feel like no one understands me.
Hopefully the hospice counseling coordinator lady calls me back today.
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