I know, I'll SAVE the used cat litter

There's NO SUCH THING as fat Japanese girls. I checked. On Google.

remember how I was gonna cut my purging to 1x a day. Well, lied I guess because it's still been three times a day till today it MIGHT only be two because I didn't eat lunch BECAUSE......

Omg we have a hoarder here. I'm an apartment manager and this tenant hoards garbage and bags full of used cat litter.. Those are the most foul things, but there are also dead bugs falling out of the fridge and something that looks like poop smeared on the kitchen floor. Jars of opened but not empty pasta sauce on the floor NEXT to the fridge. A bookshelf filled with coke cans and fast food drink containers. But a pile of movies on the floor (cuz the bookshelf is full of coke cans). This tenant is a PROFESSIONAL, who goes to work in AN OFFICE every day. I don't get it. I feel sooooo sorry for this person. Like, I want to help. I'm disgusted, but its fascinating. Why cant they put the bags in the dumpster outside? Why keep them inside? I've known there was something not right for a long time but it took a while to REALLY know for sure. we aren't a big beehive complex with a pool or fitness room. and we are right next to a trailer park. but this place is CLEAN. not spotless or perfect, but TIDY. no one who lives here has any idea this kind of thing is HERE...

Its super sad. I hesitated to add the pictures because I really do respect this girl. She has a good job and is sweet. I was afraid but I'm POSITIVE no one has ever seen this room or would know who it was. There's a chance she might not even recognize it. it IS FASCINATING isn't it.

cinnamon, hotdog, hot cross

Here's an updated before/after photo I started a long time ago. I found these pants again. I could have taken the today picture months ago but I kept forgetting.

Well, that made me worry that it looks like my butt fell OFF... so I took one with my skinny jeans on. but then YOU GUYS I was traumatized that my right bun looks funny, so I put on another pair of jeans.....
What is UP with my right bun yo????

I've been back at the gym more lately. But I'm not loosing any weight because I've been B/P X 3 every day. I am SO tired of throwing up. Plus I'm going to BURN IN HELL for eating MEAT and then throwing it up. That's just so very wrong.

And yes I DO still need (want) to loose more. If I didn't have on those tight jeans, my thighs still touch a LOT. I have flabby bits I'm workin on. I want to get down to 113 still. I mean, I know I need to draw a line in the sand and make a CHANGE. OK OK, so I'm going to make a statement so I have to stick to it. I'm going to start TOMORROW with cutting the purging to just once a day. Of course I know it should be none. But I will keep fucking up which just leads to more fucking up if I don't leave myself a little breathing room.... SO just once tomorrow and every day this week. I won't eat anything I'm not ok with keeping through the whole day. wish me luck you guys. You know I can do it--I've done it before, I just fell off and been rolling around in the mud for a bit. lazy.

where is cinnamon brown

I'm traumatized to find that her blog is erased. :-( does anyone know if she made a new one? she was so sunshiny and sweet. I'm sad.

oh ya

the glycolic product I told about the other day is called Glycolic 10% Toning Complex, and the brand is DDF Doctors Dermatologic Formula.

and yes Fed Up-I used to work in a fancy deli YEARS ago and they carried Boars Head Brand and I've never been able to eat like Oscar Mayer turkey ever again. I try sometimes, I'm a coupon mom! But that stuff tastes like WAX in comparison and my kiddo won't even eat it cuz there's "bits" that crunch and thats fuckin sick.

Vomit Nail Polish

TODAY is gonna be beach day. I went to the gym wed and did BodyPump and I swear I haven't been this sore in I don't know how long. But guess what! I'm skinnier than the teacher. This particular teacher isn't one of those sinewey nasty thin types. But she had the PERFECT bod when I first started taking the class back in like, march... She's beautiful, tan, good muscles but not too big.... But it's been months since I took her class and I've gotten much slimmer and tan! She had kind of a muffin top. The only thing she's still totally got on me is the thighs. Squats and lunges are still my worst torture and one bun is like, TORE or something it hurts so bad. But her thighs are tight as fuck, and that's what I want. Yesterday I just rode the bike and then did abs and then swam.

after the gym yesterday we started driving to the beach, but then I realized my parking pass is in my other car. It costs $7 to park one day!!!! I paid $21 for a year pass and I'm NOOOOOT going to pay SEVEN effin dollars. So we were in the hills on our way there and I changed the plan to: Berry patch!!! we (my little man and I) picked a couple pounds of raspberries. We also saw some other veggies growing including some artichokes which I think are So pretty! .... and we had a picnic. I was so good food wise all day till after noon (more on that later). I had oatmeal for breakfast (plain oatmeal with a DAB of brummel & brown, and orange marmalade--200 cals) and this was my lunch: super good deli turkey ($10/lb) on cucumber slices---150 cal

I picked up my older son from school and we headed straight to the zoo. We have a membership this year and they have some new baby Caracal's. The gates close at 4 so we had to make sure to get there before that. The baby Caracal's weren't out, but here's their daddy: My older son always wants to feed the lorrakeets and usually that is so crowded. But it turns out, the BEST time to go to the zoo is the afternoon on a school day. I only saw like 10 other people in the whole zoo.
We went out to dinner because it's so hot and I don't want to heat up the house. The place is called Sheri's. It's like Marie Callendars--Pies, and good old American fare. I was going to have a big salad. But ok, so we had to wait around 30 min for a table!!! that's unheard of at this place I don't know what the problem was. If I knew it was going to be that long, we would have left. then every step of the way after that was a horrible wait too.... We didn't have food for an HOUR from the time we got there. I was so frustrated and the KIDS!!! they were being troopers, but they were going apeshit! my older son and I had both cried by the time we were eating haha. I ended up whimping out and getting fish and chips. They got mini burgers. The food was SUPER good but it still wasn't worth the wait and torture. I was still pissed. then it took forever to get the bill, then when I went to pay (it was a joke at this point) the cashier/manager had dissapeared so I was standing there PISSED. When one of the waiters came to help me instead I told him I was really frustrated with all the waiting and I was about to cry. He went and go the manager and our meal was FREE.

hella cute outfit

ya, I went and did a TINY bit of retail therapy on Friday. I was super bummed about my mom and I only spent like $30. OK OK more like $100 but some of it was product I NEED from Sephora. Even my husband uses it--some face shit that is a miracle for zits, scars, and wrinkles. It's Glycolic Acid 10% toner right, and I let my supply run out and I didnt' rush out and get more for a week or so and dude, I was SO broken out. Not the worst, deep, acne ever. But the whole surface of my skin was just gross and clogged and sad. Anyway, that part of my spending doesn't REALLY count as retail therapy because we both use it and we need it. But I do enjoy going to Sephora :-) Then I went all around the mall and bought 5 pairs of lacy thong panties from Gap--they were having a FOUR dollar sale!!! AH mazing. And I got those cute as shit shorts from Forever 21. I already had the top and shoes from the thrift store ;-P

OH THEN I won an auction for a 3.5 oz bottle of my favorite perfume by Badgley Mischka for $21 on ebay. They don't even make it anymore and I'm so thrilled I GOT it in the mail already. A 1.7 oz bottle was $60 when they DID used to sell it so I got a rad deal. :-)

At the end of the mall time, I went to sonic and got a BURGER AND A CHICAGO DOG which I brought home to B/P........

Went to the airport to get my husband who was on a biz trip all last week. Kids were having a spend the night out.

Sat we did a couple errands then went to the State Fair. Salem (we live in oregon) is about 40 min away with no traffic. But MAN there was traffic!!! there was this super good show on NPR--people telling crazy personal stories about survival. Like a kidnap victim, and a guy who got picked up hitchhiking by an escaped lunatic.... It was fun to listen to while we got roasted alive in my car with no AC sitting in traffic for over an hour. I guess both the colleges south of us were having some big deal games, and the fair was going on.... Anyway we go to the fair every year and I love it. I have a specific order I like to walk through it. We headed straight for the back of the fairgrounds to work our way forward. We went through all the livestock stuff. Those FFA kids are camping out, playing cards, having the time of their lives! I think pigs are filthy and gross, but I like llamas, and cows and the kids love everything especially the goats and horses. I love horses too duh... kay then we were having a little lunch. The family got pizza, I got a burger at a Hawaiian booth. It was GOOD and I thought it was OK if I just ate it and enjoyed it like a normal person. The ketchup dispenser was stuck and I was leaning into it with all my strengh when a clog broke through and I got COVERED in ketchup!!! SO PISSED. because THEN I had to go out of my routine to go to the vendor area next to get a new shirt. I HAVE A SPECIFIC ORDER I LIKE TO GO THROUGH THE FAIR!!! DAMMIT. well I had a good excuse to take extra long in the bathroom and purge that burger to feel better/smug/free..... But I got in the bathroom and there was a line, 2 stalls, and it was COMPLETELY SILENT in there. Not to mention hot and smelly.... I couldn't purge. I tried a few more bathrooms along the search for a top, but I didn't have any luck. So I was hot, smelled like ketchup (which was soaked through to my bra), and full.... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH what a fiasco. I had fun though, I really did. I made the best of all of it. I love going through the big grandstand halls with all the quilts, and old ladies doing needlework, and men doing woodworking... plus, we got in free cuz some nice people gave us tickets when we were waiting in line a the ticket booth, so that was bonus.

Sunday, we tried to go to my favorite nude beach on the river..... But it was TOO CROWDED, there was no parking. Everyone was double parked and there was a parade of cars (us included) having to turn around and leave.... so that was a bummer too. We had my car (did I mention it doesn't have AC?) all weeked cuz hubby's was in the shop. It was ready to pick up friday but we didn't get over there and they were closed all long weekend. I was pissed but I'm over it.

Monday, we went to the big bonanza corn roast we go to every year for Labor day. Its a AA party, sounds nerdy but it's not I love it.

Husband is out of town again, school started yesterday so me and the little man are headed out to the gym. I love my routine and I love that it is SOOOO HOT this whole week. Maybe I'll take him to the beach just him and I. It won't be crowded today and tomorrow.... I'm gonna do it.

xo