WOW it's been over a month since I've posted here. I split my blog into 2 and this is the "secret" one. The other one, I've only been putting stupid food posts--recipe's, that's not SO stupid but I'm not getting any feelings about anything out and that sucks.
I think I'm maybe depressed or something. I feel like I'm barely treading water. Like, the house isn't a pig sty and I DO get out of the house with the kids and everything. but I just feel pretty bummed out and like I don't CARE to do anything. I don't know what the answer is. But I am getting a lot of self help books lately, mostly books about juicing or "living well by montel williams" stuff like that. I need to make a big change in the lifestyle department. I got a beautiful book about RAW cooking--well food prep really. I want to do a "reboot"--juice for a week or so, surrounded by weeks of raw only eating (before and after). I think I need about 5 new kitchen gadgets though. I need a better juicer, a dehydrator, and a NICE mandolin slicer. Eating well like that can get expensive but I think I can manage to keep it reasonable if I have all the proper gadgetry. I guess I could start with at least the juicing, I HAVE a juicer already, and try to get some raw eating incorporated that doesn't REQUIRE that fancy stuff.... Start slow...
I've been still throwing up 2 or 3 times a day and (gross) I'm like a fuckin PRO at it now which is not cool or cute I know. I can just bend over and it comes RIGHT out like I'm simply exhaling. I do still gag to "make sure" I get out as much as I can. But then OF COURSE I have no self control because as you know-purging CAUSES me to binge uncontrollably on peanut butter and ritz crackers every night. so even if I puke out everything all day, I hork on 1000 fat calories at night and then GO TO BED and absorb all that. So I'm still hovering at around 135, although I don't REALLY know because I haven't gone to the gym in 2 fat fucking weeks.
I gotta go.....
love you girls
I've been stalking the recipes with envy. I'm just too lazy to cook. I still love reading recipes though!
ReplyDeleteWhen you juice make sure you add back in some of the pulp. Juicing removes all the solids so you get none of the lovely fibre and only a fraction of the original nutrients of the things you used.
New kitchen gadgets are needed here too. Maybe we could hit u the next briscoes sale together? I need a decent teapot!
Love you right back <3
Sorry things are rough. When your motivation is low and you are depressed it makes every single day a struggle. Work on the binging and purging if you can. I know it's not easy to stop. If it's not helping you lose weight which is your goal...then it probably isn't worth it. Cheer up soon! It's good to see a post from you.
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