I'm bored. everyone is asleep in bed and it's not even 9:30. I loooooooooove my quiet time in the eve after bed. But I just wish I had a game or something.or someone fun to chat with.
bluh, i'm still 165 two weeks later. :( I'm kinda pissed but I'm still going to the gym tomorrow fuck that.
i made my stomach shrink by eating one yogurt or two a day and many supplements and water......i am a size zero and 5'7".......... i don't like looking like a skeleton but i have to i think, or else my pancreas will be mad and i can't lose that like i abused it so bad for so many years on drugs and booze and now i am totally sober and the surgery was a wake up call they all said " almost died........woulda been dead in a week if your room mate did not bring you in........".....i am 34. i look 80.
ReplyDeletenow food just makes me sick and i am hungry now and looked in the fridge and pantry and said F it.......and just will eat a yogurt when it's vitamin/suppelment/amino acid time..........since i frigged my brain up REALLY GOOD on the methadone clinic for five years....which is the reason i had the surgery scare and more probs that i ONLY NOTICE NOW ....rotten teeth.......sciatica.......numb arm...just.......there is a scroll of abuse i did to various parts of my body....... i have bad bad anxiety disorder and that has been since age 12 and i take a bit of valium and now i am "sober" and it does not work for crap i am having a spaz right now and feel like being in the fetal position in my room with the door shut........... OH BY THE WAY FOR ANYONE ON THE MDONE CLNIC IT DOES TAKE TWO MONTHS TO GET BETTER AND YOU HAD PROLLY DO IN-PATIENT REHAB FOR OPIATES/OPIOIDS SPECIFICALLY........ just and fyi........... don't do it alone they even give you help, with pills, in jail..... don't jump off like i did i can't even do this in my head anymore " 37-12= ?" really.......i had to do it on paper and still did not get it right.
and i can't eat and i am hungry and have the body of an 80 yr old saggy and just spent......
food is lame
i just need a little to take my supplements with ..and advil cuz now i have sciatica and did have it for five years but not aware on the clnic it numbs you alllllllllllll up. and i will be damned if i reverse this i won't sciatica is my karma for so many years of pills and how do you think i even got into that little accident in the first place? a mill pills in me............ my fault.
never said it was anyone else's.........
k...............i have 8 yogurts left it's almost time for grocery shopping..........
i wish i would stop sweating and it's cold outside
x,b