WOW I'm actually DOING IT!

I got ALL the way through day 1. Like a fuckin champ I can't believe it! I get extra credit too because I have to feed kids and a man and I almost threw stuff in my mouth by habit all day long. but I didn't. I had to have husband make him and the kids dinner though. I couldn't do it! He made tuna helper and i about died. Some people get through this fast with the dream of a cheeseburger. My dream is tuna helper. And you know what? I'm not even gonna end up eating it at the end. I will just dream about it and know I CAN have it if I really want. I chopped up and juiced my juices for tomorrow and I wanted to eat a hunk of apple SO BAD. Craving an apple?? that's cray zay.

I have a headache. I had a different headache this morning after my first juice but I drank a glass of water and it went away! maybe I'll do that now.

today, I went to the gym and sat in the sauna for 30 min, and swam 10 laps or so. I'll do the same tomorrow. I did some floor exercises (leg lifts, situps, ets) this eve too. I know that's kind of a whimp workout. but I'm taking this whole thing moment by moment. Really listening to my body. Oh this is funny: in the book it says some hippie drama about getting in touch with your inner self or something. I'm probably one of the biggest hippies I know and even I thought that was stupid, but I GET IT NOW. I feel SO plugged in with mind/body.

I can feel that the cleanse is working and my body needs sleep now. Its crazy, I HATE going to bed because I'm usually not tired and I'm just busy busy busy. But right now I feel very sleepy and in TUNE with my body's need for sleep and rest. AH I'm going to bed before 11pm, that NEVER HAPPENS.

good night my friends OH! oh nevermind. I'll post about day 2's stuff tomorrow...

xoxo

I'm Officially Hardcore

I start a juice fast/cleanse tomorrow. I have everything prepped. It's the Blue Print 3-Day Cleanse. I got the book, bought all the fresh fruits and veggies. Washed and prepped tomorrows stuff:


here's what I'll drink tomorrow:
1. Greens with apple
~spinach
~kale
~2 apples
~1/2 cucumber
~parsley
~1 lemon
*trim/clean all that, put it through the juicer....
2. grapefruit-strawberry-mint
*trim/clean and juice
3. spinach-blueberry-apple-lemon
*trim/clean and juice
4. strawberry-apple-beet-ginger
*trim/clean and juice
5. greens with apple (same as #1)
6. Raw Chocolate Milk
*WHAT A TREAT!!!

I got everything ready, but I MADE the chocolate milk tonight cuz it keeps for a few days. it is SO tasty I can't wait till tomorrow night when I get to drink a whole glass! like 12 ounces!! it's raw cashews, 100% cacao, agave nectar, vanilla extract, coconut oil, and I added a dash of cinnamon.

At first today, I thought I better only attempt 1 day since it's my first try. But I'm not scared. I already eat so well and I have kind of been in prep for this for a while. Plus it is SUCH a pain in the ass to get all this crap ready and everything, its not worth it for just one day. I want to go for the whole 3.

I'm working on a post thats kind of response to Mich's "drug" talk one. I got inspired to talk about that too--from my own experience. stay tuned for that.

Besides this juice cleanse, I am back to 100% vegetarian. I did eat chicken about 3 times in the last 2 weeks. Thought it would help with getting sick all the time. it didn't. I'll bet millions this cleanse will though. But I just still kept thinking about poor chickens on a conveyor belt and how i just feel like it's wrong. So, for me, that's the deal now. I still bought (happy) chicken for my family. Thankfully, my husband IS open to trying new or different things. I made hamburger helper tonight for them with Quorn Meatless Crumbles. and it was good! I know a lot of husbands would be pissed, but he said it was good even. gotta love him!

oh ya, UM YES I will still be drinking coffee. 1 Cup in the morning that's it. BLACK

updated later- here's a picture of all my juices ready to go in the morning:

been isolating

My bro moved. Then that following week-which was last week, my husband went on a business trip for a week. It was NICE I got to admit. But I've just been isolating and thinking of a million things to write about but never doing a post. :-( I'll work on that I promise.....

I've been working on these quilt projects







The first picture is of a set of coasters I made, and a random single square I'm gonna hang in the kitchen. The last picture is a wall hanging I FINALLY finished and hung up.

OH! OMG this is big news and I didn't even post about it jeeze. I ate chicken last week twice. I didn't eat meat since thanksgiving, and I got sick AGAIN. I KEEP getting sick. I'm pretty sure it is more to do with throwing up all the time screws my immunity, than not eating meat. I mean of COURSE it's not from being veg. But I needed some chicken soup! and there's no veg substitute. My whole problem with meat is factory produced meats are bad. So I went to the store with happy chicken and I bought a whole chicken. Baked it and made a soup. I didn't get grossed out handling the meat like I normally do, cuz I didn't feel guilty about the torture life the chicken might have had. It was a farm raised chicken--not caged in stacks on stacks on stacks of cages gross.

I just CAN'T be sick all the time. I keep track of my gym trips, and I go ALMOST every day. If I miss a day it's ONE day. Well in Feb I got that bad flu and missed a week. then now in March, again, I missed a whole week. Last week. plus when I'm sick I don't purge as much so it's a double whammy on my weight. I gained 3 pounds last week! I'm back at 138 again.

I want to say thanks to everyone for reading. I love this little bloggosphere. All the girls I follow, I love all of you guys! Everyone is so NICE around here. I love it. I'm gonna make an effort to post more I promise.

A&W bender

I just threw a going away party for my brother and his family who I love to bits and pieces and I hate that they're moving but I am supportive and loving. I got 4 pizzas and 3 2 liters and 2 jugs of sunny delight. I ate veg pizza twice and threw up twice. This morning I ate steel cut oats. I like it but I didn't eat too much because I was feeling very motivated to not eat. We went to the gym and I felt so slim and good about my body. I mean I TOTALLY still find fault, but I was feeling better than ever. I was strutting from station to station sticking my butt out and pumping iron making sexy faces --all a show for hubby. he told me later I was "laying it on a little thick" I said "just because I AM sexy!" Then I went swimming and OH, I ran a mile first... so I went swimming for 20 laps and I felt super in the water like I wasn't floppy or splashy just badass. I went on the scale and this is my favorite most specific scale and I was JUST under 135 and I had my wet hair towel on. So can I round down to 134.5? OH and we're signing up to do this event called Warrior Dash It's in my area in, lets just say, "fall" and I'm pretty intimidated. but a bunch of friends want to do it too and we're gonna laugh a lot I'm sure it will be rad.

ANYWAY right now, I'm drinking glass after glass of root beer. not diet either. Gross I dont' think I've ever had diet root beer I think that'd be sick.

OH SHEEZE I almost forgot. I got a new Montel Williams Health Master. it's GIANT. I haven't used it yet but I'm gonna go apeshit and make 100 things tomorrow. I wanted a Vitamix but those are like $500

JUICE FAST SOON I PROMISE

haha sillypants

I'm feeling STONED I'm so tired and sleepy and burned out. I got through today. Kids are watching a cartoon. I'm about to take a epsom salt bath and have sleepytime tea. then bed. I feel goofy. the first half of today sucked I was strung out and kind of anxiety filled. We watched that movie "the box" this morning at dawn like stay up all night crack heads. That movie is twisted and creepy and it made me jumpy. But then I got my little makeup on and got out of the house. Took the little man to the drop in daycare so he can play. I went to some errands. Then took him home for naptime and went to big son's school for a little event they had. This eve, I took the kiddos out while husband stayed on the couch sick :-( we went to the dollar store and I got eucalyptus epsom salts. Then we went to the mall and bookstore I want this book Altered Curiosities Then we went to the pet store to get a couple of new fish All together now I have 5 assorted fancy guppies, and 3 tetras.



WOW I cant believe I got through this day without crying and loosing my mind. I kept the coffee low, I think that helped. The instinct is to over do it....

xoxo

How will we get through today

OH MAN. I thought I was better yesterday. I WAS a little better, but my stomach hurt all day bad. I couldn't go to the gym. I go to bed at 11 every night. I went to bed at 11 last night and couldn't sleep till almost 2. Then I kept having scary dreams that jolted me awake for 3 hours, then I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. My lower back hurts bad and is radiating down my legs and OH I started my period. Ibuprofen helps the cramps, but not the aches I have from this flu. NOW my husband is sick on the couch-he stayed home to take care of me when I was first sick on wed. So he's sick and I don't know how much help I can be to him :-( I think I'm gonna get my big son off to school, then take the little one to the drop in daycare or my girlfriends house to be watched while we be sick at home :-( maybe we'll go to the gym instead and sit in the steam room and sweat.... ooooh that sounds like a good idea actually..... baby can come with and go to the kids club and i won't feel bad.... :-)

Lately, I had been b/p-ing several times a day. Taking laxatives and diuretics. Then, a week before I got sick, I went off the laxatives kinda by accident. I was still productive in the bathroom. my stomach hurt often, but I still had "productive" bathroom time, so I wasn't worried about it. So a week went by of that--all the same naughty habits, except laxatives. I was feeling frustrated though because I was stuck at the same weight for a MONTH so Tues night, before bedtime, I binged and purged like normal. Then at bedtime, I took 2 laxatives, a diuretic, an alli, and my RX meds (blood pressure and psych drug very low dose). I woke up 4 hours later puking and in pain, oh and diarrhea. I chalked that (water bowel evacuation) to the 2 laxatives after a break. But I puked so much and ended up also REALLY being sick. I just think that my bad diet habits have contributed to this sickness and make it worse. THEN last night I got my period. It's just BAD all around. ugh I need to rehydrate and sleep and chill.

Glad I got sick so what

I got the stomach flu and broke my plateau of 139 which I was stuck at for a month. WOO HOO! It actually sucked and I'm not sure it was worth it, but it's not like I asked for it. I'm at 137.

SO sad that my brother is moving away to another state. He's my baby bro and I feel like ever since our Mom died, we've gotten closer. It's sad. I'm having a going away party though, I want to be supportive. The whole thing is making me cry worse than I did when my mom died. what's up with that.