ok ok wheew

Yesterday sucked so bad I'm not even kidding. it was the climax of a week straight of binging and purging. I puked 4 times! I ate SOOOOOOO much crap:
good breakfast
no lunch
pillsbury crescent ham n cheese roll ups (3) I made for boys during punkin time
3 or more frosted shortbread cookies
cookies n cream ice cream
hot chocolate
whole bag of lowfat popcorn
3 glasses of diet juice
2 glasses of milk
a whole plate of chips with shredded cheeze
lowfat whole grain eggo with an egg and cheese
fun size candy bars (4)

gross.
I didnt' puke after the eggo/egg, and candy. But THANK GOD my weight isn't up this morning. And I'm doing good and feel confident that the spell is broken.

We went to the gym this morning and I did weights HARD for an hour, then I swam for 12 min (10 laps) that's easy, but I REALLY pushed hard on the weights. I'm proud of myself.

Maybe M and I will have sex tonight. It's been a WEEK!! GAWD. cuz we had a minor fight in the bedroom on wed and we both have had too much pride. Plus we're being gentle with each others feelings cuz I think we both got hurt feelings. Basic deal was this: He jokes constantly in the bedroom, I get tired of that I think it's fake and he's actually hiding behind that. Plus, I just get irritated with the physicality of it--he force frenches me every time until I give up and just lay there irritated. With that to look forward too every time, it ruins my mood. So when he said "why don't you have a sense of humor" I went off about all that stuff and it embarrassed him BAD and I DO have a sense of humor. I do funny joky fake do it play ALL the time and cheese out. SOooooooooooooooo, well, I think we're both getting nice and horny which is a good little pressure to have.

ok, time to get dressed and clean.

Heats