Fun with Pictures: Tanning Before/After

check it out yall

OK that's SO NOT what's on my mind. I've been avoiding writing this. I don't want it to be true. But I'm REALLY frustrated with my binging/Purging behavior. I HAAAATE every second of it, but then I still do it every day. three times. ugh! I'm stuffing my gullet as we speak. Sapporo Ichiban Ramen. So salty and delish. Tonight we went to fucking stupid shit ass Round Table Pizza "family night" buffet. How shameful and sickening is that?? I told my husband i don't want to eat that, I'll eat later. But I felt like it was so shady to sit there and not eat at a buffet, like they would spy and bust me if I had ONE nibble of my kids salad or something. I was embarrassed. So then I thought WELL I can just eat a salad, and we were on a BIKE RIDE so it's OKAY to eat a little something healthy. But of course I hogged out. I thought there was a chance I might not be able to be alone in the bathroom after but MIRACLE it worked out. And I was elated after, I got away with it..

Lately it's been really hard to get the purge to happen. the muscles on my arm are sore from the gag thrust. Every time I binge I gross out so bad and have self loathing. Maybe I should just embrace it?? DAMN

anyway, I'm really happy with the tanning results. I'm still going. I'm taking fish oil to keep my skin supple and using so many lovely lotions. My favorite at the moment is SOOOOOOO CHEAP and cheezy but totally works, is this:
FIVE BUCKS and it is SOOO not greasy, makes my skin feel soft. I'm gonna go shower and use use it right now. right after I purge that is.