As you wish

This was me when the fire department came by to do an inspection.... A firetruck full of firemen came to the complex. Probably the cutest one of the bunch (aren't they ALL cute though sheesh) came to my door (I'm the manager) and I was just doing things around the house and getting ready to go to the gym. I was gonna wear a tank top OVER that sports bra. Some cool asses DO just wear the sports bra top to work out. But I can't do that, cuz, well, it's dorky. anyway. the cutie pie fireman came to my door and I answered it cuz I didn't know it was just an inspection of the property. He looked at me, looked me up and down and said "yes mam, well, um, we, uh, are here from that firestation down the street there, and uh.... (bla bla we wanna check the place out)" but he was seriously dumbfounded. And I was tickled pink!

So then I wanted to show you guys that, but I thought the picture looked a little beefy. I like slender/athletic. Not JUST athletic. I still have a ways to go to get to the slender part. SO this picture is better.


I didnt' want you all thinking I'm trying to look like mary lou retton

cuz I'm not....

I'm still 122.? every day I go to the gym. Today it was 122.5 at the end of the gym..... I still b/p every day. the last several mornings I haven't been eating breakfast at all. What I WAS doing was eating breakfast (oatmeal or a banana) and coffee. then I would sometimes be good till dinner (not purge lunch), then just go apeshit all night from dinner on. then it became where I would start going apeshit earlier like starting at lunch. Today, I didn't eat anything till dinner. EXCEPT a wheatgrass shot from jamba juice. Then we went to sushi which can be good but I always eat nasty junk sushi like vegas rolls (roll of crab salad with mayo, avocado, cream cheese, light tempura battered then deep fried!) I did pretty well until I ordered a vegas roll on purpose and ended up having TWO which honestly probably was at least 500 cals just for those 2. I also had some shrimp tempura roll which contains a deep fried shrimp.... Its all so yummy. I was debating the whole time with myself, that if I was good, I should keep it down and NOT WORRY I didn't eat all fuckin day. But then my husband asked if we wanted to go to the mall to walk it off, I just went crazy and ate more than I normally (what does that mean anymore--normally) would. Then I felt guilty, ashamed, nauseous. I couldn't get to a bathroom fast enough. I tried so hard to be ok with it, but UGH, I just couldn't. I went to the family bathrooms at the mall--they're individual with a sink and toilets all inside a locked door. SO private. But they were all full so I sat down and waited for what felt like forever, feeling so ashamed. I had my arms wrapped around my tummy rocking back and forth.... Waiting waiting, sick, gross, hurry fuck!! then two teenage guys came out of one (???) and I did my thing... then I went to Dicks Sporting goods to try on fitness shorts. I tried on SEVERAL pairs and I cant find a kind that look good on me... I think I'm the tight capri workout pants type. Plus my fitness skirt is hecka cute.

OK so listen to THIS: see in the second picture I'm wearing sandals? well I was wearing those when I went to the gym and I forgot to change into tennies. So I had to wear those lame things to lift weights. what a dork