Today is kinda bad. I mean I'm not depressed, I just mean, I'm eating badly. since my last post, I went a few days of b/p one day, be good the next day, b/p WORSE the next day..... Today, I've already b/p'd twice and the day isn't over. I just went to the donut shop! :-(. I'm frustrated. I did the juice fast and OF COURSE I'm still glad and it was healthy and reset my naughty binge cycle. BUT I only lost 5 pounds, gained it all back in a few days which actually put me higher than I had been before. I kept trying so hard to be good but nothing was getting an ounce off of me till I started eating normal and puking once in a while. the last day or two I've started seeing some loss on the scale. It's kind of like, what's the fuckin point?? But I KNOW, I really do, that the best thing is to eat normal, not binge, not purge and go to the gym every day. but I always end up binging, because I eat "normal" and then purge when I should just keep it. because purging CAUSES binging--Not the other way around. So then it STILL after everything comes down to self control and it's SO HARD isn't it?? dang!!!
I'm sorry to be a let down. I want to do that cleanse again how crazy is that? I want to do the hardest level too--it's all green juices all day torture. I have to wait about a month though.
Another thing: I've been sick for MONTHS and it's BS!! Husband too. the current cold we have, we've had for 35+ days! and today (lovely) I got a cold sore. JEEZE
I hate pissing and moaning. I'll try to think of something more juicy for my next post. OH! this was a funny/irritating thing that happened yesterday. OK, I went into Vitamin World, and the guy at the front was a beef face who looked like he just shot steroids in the back.
him: what can I help you with (attitude in voice and expression)
me: I'm looking for Krebs Cycle Chelates
him: we don't carry that
me: oh, I just thought you might cuz I saw it on your website
him: we have TWENTY THREE thousand products online for sale and we only carry 9000 in the store
me: oh, okaaaay wellll, ummmm I guess I'll order it online?
him: you could do that.
WHAT A FUCKER RIGHT????? I hate everyone
Go ahead and piss and moan--tjhat's what Blogger is for!
ReplyDeleteHope you both feel better soon. Doctor?
You should have quoted AbFab with that guy in Vitamin World: "You only work in a shop you know. You can drop the attitude."
I love Eddie.
Hope you have a good weekend, luv. And hope the eating gets better. <3
xoxo
OMIGOD MICH I've TOTALLY SEEN that one too. HAHA
ReplyDeleteYou guys probably have sinus infections. No cold lasts that long. And yeah, see a doctor? Sinus infections can last nearly a year untreated...and purging makes them worse.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about bitching. Like Mich said, that's what you're supposed to do here! My blog is full of piss, vinegar and acid rain. :B
I'm sorry the yo-yo weight loss/gain is fucking with your head. I know how much that sucks.
It's the whole restriction-binge-purge-binge-restriction cycle that is hard to get out of.
It's not just the binging OR just the purging that creates the tornado. The restriction is what causes the feeling of eating normally to seem wrong...and once eating normally feels wrong, then the ability to discern what is ok and what is a binge gets really fucking blurry.
Anyway.
Don't you have a versatile blogger award thing to be doing?! haha
Oh dear, I'm sorry you feel so crappy. Being sick and the whole b/p cycle sucks. I totally agree, you should try to see a doctor. And this is your place to talk about whatever you want, so there's no need to feel bad about it. I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDelete~Cora
Thank you for your comment on my blog=] My esophagus is feeling much better, and I didn't text him at all. I've got this thing going on with everyone I text where I feel like I seem needy, so I never start a conversation, I always wait for people to text me first. Thank god I've developed this habit though, because I can really see myself obsessively texting people when freaking out... Thank you so much for your concern, you're lovely.
ReplyDelete~Cora